40-year-old man realizes his soon-to-be ex-wife is dating his friend, who has now blocked him everywhere: ‘How would you feel? I’m told a real friend wouldn’t do that’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 19, 2026 1:45 PM EDT

To have a guilty conscience

The most ridiculous part of this story is that the supposedly betrayed part is not even angry. The only one who's freaking out is the one who has a guilty conscience. It's sad how you can find out, years later, that not all of your friends have the capacity to have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation. Maybe you used to keep them in your life because you thought they could; maybe it was because they were never put to the test. This friend was apparently put to the test and failed it miserably. The sad part is that no one was going to attack him if he were upfront about what he was doing; the only thing against him in this situation was his own mind. Would you have had the courage to confront this situation?

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  • man and woman getting married and a man behind
    via 550Park Luxury Wedding Films

    The married couple and the friend waiting for his turn

    Not actual subjects of the story

  • My friend is dating my soon to be ex wife and didn’t tell me.

    So I M40 am going through a divorce, that I initiated. My ex F39 and I both agreed the marriage had been de d for a while.
    via StormForNova
  • She didn't want the marriage to end, because she wanted to keep the house and the overall
    via StormForNova
  • lifestyle. We have now sorted it out, and came to an agreement where we're both happy.
    via StormForNova
  • During the tough part of the divorce, my friend J M40 and I, had gone a few
    via StormForNova
  • times for drinks and spoke about women, our relationships and my divorce.
    via StormForNova
  • Important note: I've moved on, and I am now with someone. I'm happy for my ex to find someone and I hope she can be
    via StormForNova
  • happy. Until the house sale process is over we still live together in a awkward but friendly/courteous way.
    via StormForNova
  • Now I've been suspecting that she was seing someone else. Understand that is NOT the issue. I'm happy for her.
    via StormForNova
  • However I know now the person she is seeing is my friend J. I've also noticed he blocked me EVERYWHERE. We've not
    via StormForNova
  • a person holding a cellphone with social media in it
    via Julian

    The friend blocking him from every social media

    Image is representative

  • had a falling out. And frankly I don't even care he is dating my ex! But I don't know how to feel about him not telling
    via StormForNova
  • me, and blocking me everywhere for no reason. I'm a bit hurt on the friendship front. How would you feel? I'm told a real friend wouldn't do that. What do you think Reddit
    via StormForNova
  • virtualsmilingbikes I would assume your ex wife told him her side and he doesn't much care for the man who left her. You initiated a divorce she didn't want. Maybe he values her more than you did? Anyway, it's not as amicable as you think it is, and he's not your friend.
    via StormForNova
  • joshygill The friend should have told you. The fact that you don't care is irrelevant, he should have told you. Especially if it wasn't going to be an issue.
    via StormForNova
  • TBvunza98 That's not your friend mate
    via StormForNova
  • man and woman hugging
    via Candice Picard

    The man with his friend's ex-wife

    Subjects are models

  • In my way of seeing things, it’s always better to lose a friend who can have this type of attitude than to keep it. It’s painful when it happens; it’s tough, but it’s always a blessing in disguise. And I don’t mean it because this dude was dating his ex-wife; the ex-husband himself said that didn’t matter. I mean it because when we face adversity, or when friends do something to upset us, we should expect them to have the integrity to be honest and to offer to repair. This ex-friend seemed much more preoccupied with getting his way than with taking care of those who got hurt by his actions, and that speaks a lot more about him than it does about anyone else in this story. I sure hope the ex-wife talks to him at some point tho, and that she takes a good look at who she is getting in with.



     

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relationship advice relationships toxic relationship relationship drama marriage marriage drama
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